Love is everywhere. Love is everyone and everything. Love is who we are. When we strip everything else away, love is all that is left. It is at the core of our existence, our true self. Life happens and our egos convince us otherwise, but when it comes down to it – we all want the same thing; love.
As I’ve gotten better at watching my mind, my feelings, my thoughts – I’ve really become to realize that every single moment in life is an opportunity to choose love. It took a lot of time and patience to get to this place of realization, but now I can usually pin-point the moment when my heart closes up and fear takes over. I have been really working on consciously choosing LOVE.
Let me explain…
There are so many moments in life where I can start to feel my heart closing or a wall building. It might be something a simple as someone driving too slow on the highway, someone making a simple mistake, a misunderstanding with my boyfriend, someone not doing something I asked of them, an argument, someone disagreeing with me, etc. It doesn’t matter who it is, what it is, where I am, etc….these moments happen all the time. When I can feel myself wanting to run away, hide, lash out, get mad/upset, yell, protect myself, to not be there – in that moment; I now know that I have a choice. Love or fear.
As I continued to notice this in myself, I started to first just slow down. Take a breath. Calm my mind. Not be so quick to react. I try to really think about what is going on, what I am feeling, where that feeling is coming from, etc. Almost always, when I really explore this, it comes back to something about ME. Something like a need that isn’t being met (I’m tired, hungry, lonely,etc), something I am afraid of (not having enough money, time, etc) something that is bothering me that I haven’t addressed, something I’m worried about, etc. Most of the time it has nothing to do with the person or situation that is happening. It’s not always easy to see this, especially if I’m upset, worried, or if someone did something that hurt my feelings. This is when I try to remember my two choices. I can let fear take over (react and yell, get upset, clam up or make it a big deal) OR I can choose love.
At first this concept didn’t really make sense to me, but the more I practiced it in my everyday life, the more I saw that it can really make a difference. The simple act of asking myself “What would love do?” calms me down and shifts my perspective. Whether I bottle up my emotions or lash out at someone, in both of these scenarios…. no one benefits! Usually the opposite of what I want ends up happening. When something happens that upsets me, if I choose to react and get upset and explode or retreat, that isn’t helping the situation and I end up feeling even more awful. It pushes love away. It moves me farther way from what it is I really need or want. If I choose love, if I lean into it, explore my feelings, explain myself, etc…even if I’m upset, hurt or annoyed, my response (inside myself and towards others) comes from a more loving, honest place. Choosing love OPENS my heart to giving and receiving more love…to myself and to everyone around me.
When we open our hearts, it also opens our eyes and our minds and it’s easier to see what’s happening in and around us.
If I feel that tension building and my heart closing, no matter what the situation – I try and take a moment to breathe, explore it and think about what love would do. (Keyword here is try; it’s not always easy to do this.)
Love wouldn’t lash out, run away, hide or get mad. Love embraces. Love cares. Love asks questions. Love explains. Love wants what is best. Love understands. Love supports. Love compromises. Love is honest. Love is compassionate. Love is gentle. Love is kind. Love trusts.
When I think about love, our true essence, it also reminds me that everyone is doing the best they can with that they have. No one is “out to get me” or intentionally trying to ruin my day. I constantly remind myself of that when I feel my heart start to harden. More often that not, people really do have good intentions! Especially the people in my life that love and care for me. I try to remember that when someone is upset or mad or having a bad day to try to not take it personally. Most likely it has nothing to do with me. I also keep in mind that if it does have something to do with me, if I hurt someone’s feelings or made a mistake…coming from a place of love will only help the situation for everyone involved.
Choosing love can be hard because you do have to let your guard down. You have to trust. Trust yourself and trust the universe. Trust love. It’s not easy to do that especially if you’re used to letting fear guide you. Letting your guard down and letting love in takes practice. Every moment in life is an opportunity to practice choosing love.
Think about yourself and your life. Think about a situation where you remember feeling fear creep in and your heart close up. Remember you have a choice: CHOOSE LOVE!