Author: Lindsey Murphy

Self-Awareness, Self-Love

Question or change your beliefs and your life will follow!

Lindsey Murphy

“What if it’s only one simple belief between where you are and where you want to be?”

Something I’ve given a lot of thought to lately is what exactly makes it possible for us to create the lives we want. I think a lot of it has to do with our attitude about life and ourselves, as well as the decisions and choices we make. Even more than those things though, our beliefs that we hold about life, love, relationships, work …everything really – those are what really shape our lives.   These could be things we grow up thinking we are “supposed” to do or believe. Get married, have kids, go to a certain church, work at a job you hate, etc. They are also beliefs that are formed because of things that have happened to us in the past. We got hurt, bad things happened, we didn’t succeed at something we hoped to, etc.

Think about it for a minute. Here is one example of what I’m talking about:

Somewhere along the way you stop believing in yourself. If you believe you aren’t good enough, that you’ll never amount to anything – well, you’re right! If you truly believe that about yourself, of course it’s true. You won’t try harder or do better, because why would you? And if you do decide to try and it doesn’t work out, it justifies your belief that you shouldn’t have tried in the first place.

Now, on the other hand, if you believe in yourself and that you are capable of anything – anything is possible. You’ll try to do your best and go after your dreams. Even if you screw up or things don’t go as planned, because you love and believe in yourself, you don’t let it drag you down or stop you from trying again.

Another example; I’ll use myself this time:

Growing up I always thought I would have kids, never really questioned it one way or the other. I just believed it was what you’re supposed to do. Grow up. Get married. Have babies.  I never really stopped to think about what I actually wanted my life to look like. It wasn’t until I was engaged last year that I really realized I had NO idea what I wanted my life to look like. I had never stopped and thought about it before. I had to do the hardest thing that I’ve ever done in my whole life; I left the man I loved because I knew I couldn’t get married feeling that way. The last year of my life was really about figuring out who I am and what I want. It was the best thing I could have ever done for myself and for both of our futures. It was hard to see it that way at the time, but looking back it was something that needed to happen. This story has a happy ending, as my boyfriend and I did end up back together about six months later. The best part of it all is that I have a clearer picture of who I am and what I want. That is SO important. If I had gotten married feeling that way, neither of us would be in a very happy place right now.  We also probably would have gone along with having kids because you’re “supposed” to and as it turns out, neither of us think we really want kids.

There are SO many beliefs we have about ourselves and our lives that are only holding us back for living the life we truly want. These are usually things we don’t even realize. The amazing thing is it’s up to you to figure this out and make the changes we need or want.

If you really believe that you aren’t good enough and you’ll never amount to anything – you have to STOP that belief right now. NO good can come from that belief and it’s certainly not true.

If you are making decisions or changes in your life because they are things you’re “supposed” to do, I encourage you to take a step back and explore that a little more.

Really be honest with yourself about what you believe, deep down in your core. Be honest with yourself about everything. Ask yourself what you really believe about life, love, relationships, work, and spirituality, all of it. What you believe, what you want, what you need. These aren’t always the easiest questions to ask, but they are the most necessary if you want to be happy. The answers aren’t the easiest things to find either, but they are there. They are there in your heart and soul just waiting to be discovered.

Are you living your life a certain way because you believe that is how you’re supposed to do it?

Are you holding yourself back from a life of abundance because you believe you don’t deserve otherwise?

Once we ask ourselves these questions and find the answers deep in our soul, we can start creating the life we want. If we realize certain beliefs we have that no longer make sense, are no longer true, or they are self sabotaging…we can CHANGE them.

How awesome is that?

Self-Awareness, Yoga

Face your fears & believe in yourself!

Lindsey Murphy

“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop and look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

I have always been very shy and reserved person. I’ve never like being the center or attention or having to talk in front of a group of people…even people that I know! There are certain things in my life that I just never thought that I would (or could) actually do.  If you asked me a year ago if I thought I’d be certified to teach yoga in a years time, I don’t think I would have believed you.

On sunday I graduated from the Yoga Teacher Training program at Green Lotus Yoga and Healing Center.

When I first started the training in september I was terrified. It was something I knew I always wanted to do, but never actually thought it would happen. (Me? Teach yoga? There’s no way! I’m way too shy…I’d be way too nervous!) The minute the opportunity presented itself for me to join the program , it definitely conjured up a ton of fear and self-doubt. My nerves were going CRAZY! In my heart I knew I wanted to do this more than anything, yet my head was telling that I  wouldn’t be able to.

Even though I was feeling what felt like debilitating fear, I didn’t let it stop me. Sometimes I wanted to give up, to walk away, but I didn’t let myself. I pushed through my fears and self-doubt. There were times I almost convinced myself that this was something I couldn’t do, but I knew in my heart that the voice telling me those things was wrong.

I made a decision to feel the fear and do it anyway.

I knew that this was something that would be amazing and life-changing if I let it. This experience was exactly that; amazing and life changing! It was scary at first, but each month it felt more and more like I was supposed to be there; like I belonged there. Even when I had to teach, my nerves would be there, but they’d lessen every single time. Every thing I learned (about yoga, about life, about myself), every fear I had to face and each and every person in my group; it really was meant to be. Through this training I actually started to believe in myself.  My life will never be the same and I couldn’t be more grateful.

If there is something you fear – move TOWARDS it; not away from it. I heard it said like this once: use fear as a compass to help lead you towards what you should do in your life. If something scares you (unless it’s something obviously bad!) that is the universe telling you to DO it. Don’t walk away from it. Don’t give up. Feel the fear and do it anyway! When you face your fear and find your way to the other side…it’s truly AMAZING.

Facing your fears can be scary and sometimes feel really, really awkward. No one likes being uncomfortable, but it’s actually a GOOD thing. I’m learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. It means I’m stepping outside of my comfort zone. It means I’m growing and evolving. I want to live a life full of purpose and passion and learning to getting out of your comfort zone is a huge part of that.

I’m discovering for myself, for the first time ever, that we can really create the lives that we want. We can follow our dreams and they can come true. We are capable of anything we set our minds to. It’s an amazing revelation to me and sometimes hard to believe, but life keeps confirming it for me; over and over. Life keeps giving me more and more reasons to believe in myself and to go after my dreams. Doors keep opening that I didn’t even know were there. I believe it is a direct result of me facing my fears and believing in myself.  This is possible for each and every one of us. We just have to believe in ourselves and go after the life we want.

 Trust yourself. Believe in yourself. Follow your heart. Face your fears.

It is possible and it all starts with YOU. 🙂

Self-Awareness, Self-Love

Learn to love yourself!

Lindsey Murphy

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha

I believe that one of the most important things that we can do is learn to love ourselves, be compassion to ourselves and to accept ourselves…just as we are!  It’s also one of the hardest things to do.

When I first started thinking about the concept of self-love and self-compassion, I thought that I already did that. Of course I love myself! Of course I believe in myself! How could I not? I thought that I thought I was a pretty awesome person. I thought I had it together. But when I really started to watch myself and my thoughts it became quickly apparent that I wasn’t loving or compassionate to myself at all. I didn’t really believe in myself. I didn’t really love myself. I was never good enough, pretty enough, skinny enough, talented enough, right enough, etc. Everyone else was always better, everyone else was always right. No matter what; I wasn’t enough. I reminded myself of that way too often. I didn’t even realize that I was doing it.

Continue reading “Learn to love yourself!” →

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The choice is yours; see the positive and learn the lesson!

Lindsey Murphy

“Every day isn’t always good, but there is always something good in every day!” 

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I read that quote yesterday and it really was just what I needed to hear!

It brought me back down to earth, reminding how easy it is to get caught up in the negative. It’s so, so, so easy to always focus on the bad, whatever the situation might be. (Bad weather, misplacing something, losing your job, a mistake you made, getting lost, getting sick, disagreeing with someone, someone leaves you or does something that hurts you, etc – the list goes on and on and on!) This is something I have been really working on in my own life;  trying to see the good in everything, even the not so positive situations. Holy moly – sometimes it’s really, really hard! 

 I’ve learned that we have a choice: we can focus on the positive or we can focus on the negative.

Continue reading “The choice is yours; see the positive and learn the lesson!” →

Self-Awareness

Pay attention to your world around you; it’s a direct reflection of what is going on inside!

Lindsey Murphy

“The only one thing I can change is myself, but sometimes that makes all of the difference.”  – Anonymous

“Just as you would not neglect seeds that you planted with the hope that they will bear vegetables and fruits and flowers, so you must attend to and nourish the garden of your becoming.”   – Jean Houston

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 Over the last few weeks I’ve started to notice some changes in myself. Things I’ve been feeling, things I’ve been doing (or not doing). Here are some examples:  I’ve been feeling anxious and stressed.  I feel busy, busy, busy. My apartment is a mess…and continues to grow messier. I have no money. I have no time. My pants are starting to feel tight. I haven’t been giving my cat his meds every night…or taking all of mine. I’ve just been feeling negative and getting frustrated more easily. Ugh.

Continue reading “Pay attention to your world around you; it’s a direct reflection of what is going on inside!” →

Self-Awareness

Choose love!

Lindsey Murphy

Love is everywhere. Love is everyone and everything. Love is who we are. When we strip everything else away, love is all that is left. It is at the core of our existence, our true self. Life happens and our egos convince us otherwise, but when it comes down to it – we all want the same thing; love.

Love Cloud

As I’ve gotten better at watching my mind, my feelings, my thoughts – I’ve really become to realize that every single moment in life is an opportunity to choose love. It took a lot of time and patience to get to this place of realization, but now I can usually pin-point the moment when my heart closes up and fear takes over.  I have been really working on consciously choosing LOVE.

Let me explain…

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Self-Awareness

Take back your power and stop making excuses!

Lindsey Murphy

“People are always blaming their circumstances for what they are. I don’t believe in circumstances. The people who get on in this world are the people who get up and look for the circumstances they want, and, if they can’t find them, make them.” – George Bernard Shaw

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Excuses.

We all make them.

We make them for everything, all the time, without even realizing it. Pointing the finger at someone or something else, anything or anyone but ourselves.

 I didn’t think I made excuses. Blaming people? Who me? No way! The truth is, once I started to take a real, hard look at my life I realized that I was FULL of excuses and blame. Excuses for why I couldn’t get up earlier, start eating healthier, be a vegetarian, work out more, do the dishes, go out friday night, make the bed, call someone back, etc. You name it. I had an excuse! Blaming everything and everyone under the sun for why I couldn’t do this or have that, why I felt a certain way, why I wasn’t fulfilled or happy, etc. Nothing was my fault or my responsibility. This was hard to see and even harder to admit. 

Continue reading “Take back your power and stop making excuses!” →

Self-Awareness, Self-Care, Self-Love, Yoga

Learning to be present; how meditation changed my life!

Lindsey Murphy

“The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, not to worry about the future, not to anticipate the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.     – Buddha

For most of my life I’ve had a lot of issues with anxiety. My anxiety level was almost always sky high and I was worrying about something, anything, everything! It didn’t matter what it was or wasn’t. I was over-thinking, obsessing, worrying, ruminating, etc. People would say “Just don’t think about it!” , “Let it go!”, “What is worrying going to do for you?”, etc…but hearing that just made me more frustrated. More anxious. Sure, it sounds easy to let I go, but it’s not. Especially when you are the middle of it, it’s impossible to see any reason. I honestly felt kind of crazy a lot of the time.

A couple of years ago I started doing yoga regularly. I had done it before, here and there sporadically throughout my life, but I never really understood what the big deal was. My mom took me to a beginner workshop to a yoga studio by her house. The moment I walked into this building I was I knew this was somewhere special. The class was amazing and after that I started taking classes there regularly. When I was on my mat, for the time EVER, I was learned to quiet my mind. I don’t think I had ever been able to do that before. It was amazing! I was hooked. Quieting my mind off the mat though, well – that was a different story! I was still really anxious and worrying constantly.

Continue reading “Learning to be present; how meditation changed my life!” →

Self-Awareness

Self-Awareness

Lindsey Murphy
“There is no need to reach high for the stars. They are already within you. Just reach deep into yourself!” ~Unknown

It has been almost exactly a year since my life took an unexpected turn and I was forced to re-discover myself and take a look inside. I thought I knew who I was. I thought I had it all figured out. Boy, was I wrong. It’s scary to me now to think about how I always lived my life. Completely unaware. Ignorant to my surrounds, my wants, my needs. Neglecting myself, my relationships, my life. So much has changed since then and I couldn’t be more grateful. In a way I guess I was reborn. It took a huge change for me to be able to look within myself and figure all of this out. I think it happens that way for people a lot. They don’t realize this stuff or try to figure themselves out until they are basically forced to.  It obviously doesn’t always have to happen that way, but for most people I think that’s how it ends up happening.

The biggest thing for me has been realizing that I am in control of my own happiness. I thought I knew that, but when I look back I realize I was letting external circumstances, situations, people and things control my every thought, mood, relationship, want, fear, reaction…EVERYTHING. I thought I was in control of myself, but clearly…I wasn’t! No wonder I’ve had anxiety issues my entire life. Geez. Makes total sense! My entire day could be ruined by one comment someone made or one unpleasant thing that happened to me. Oof-duh. That is giving a lot of credit to a lot of things that we have NO control over.

I’d love to say that I’ve over come that stuff completely and never struggle with that anymore…but I can’t. It’s still a work in progress. It will always be a work in progress and that’s ok! The biggest thing to me though is that I am finally AWARE of it. That is the first step. Being aware of things like that makes such a difference in itself. It’s amazing. Life-changing. It’s really not that complicated,  but at the same time, it is. The complicated part is just becoming aware of it. It’s sounds easy, but that isn’t always the case. I’ve read SO many self-help books through the years. SO many. They all talk in some detail about that kind of stuff. It never clicked though. I was still looking outside of myself to find the answer, when all along it was INSIDE!

As soon as you realize that you are in control of your happiness and your life, everything changes. As soon you realize that only YOU are in control of your mood, your reactions, your thoughts…nothing will ever be the same! No one person or situation or thing can make you feel any certain way. You are in control of how you feel. You can choose to feel however you want. You can choose to react however you want. You can take responsibility for your own needs and wants. It’s liberating and life changing. Becoming aware of this for me was HUGE! I still can’t believe I never realized it before, but it is what it is. Everything happens as it should, always. I really, truly believe that with all of my heart.

Learning how to be present in this moment has always made such a difference in my life too. Get out of your head and stop letting your thoughts carry you away to crazy places. This is not at all easy to do, but again – once you start to be aware of it…everything changes!